Following on from our recent posts about the fun of having a crack at winning big playing casino games, bingo and poker online we have a few classic one liners for you. They cover all topics such as poker, slots and other casino games like blackjack.
To complement this blog post here is a cheesy stock image of the topic :p We hope you like it.
Bob's classic one-liners. Bob Monkhouse was famed for his quick-fire quips, encyclopaedic memory of jokes and effortless ability to improvise. For years, he jotted down his ideas in ring-bound. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, expressions & more.
Often written off as a cash-in on the success of Goodfellas, Martin Scorsese’s 1995 true crime film Casino is one of his most accomplished and overlooked works. Like Goodfellas, the screenplay was based on events chronicled in a non-fiction book written by author Nicolas Pileggi and adapted by both Pileggi and Scorsese. Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's one point, that all of a sudden I'm bored. I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.
Read on below for the goodies.
![One One](https://miro.medium.com/max/1600/0*VFW64UlYyTFpcVe9.jpg)
Short Casino Jokes
What is the difference between praying in a church and praying in a casino? In a casino, you really do mean it.
How do you get a sweet little old lady to shout the word f**k? Get another sweet little old lady to yell the word bingo!
Why don’t they allow gambling in the Africa continent? Because of all the cheetahs.
How is a casino like a woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Where’s the only place in the world you are guaranteed to get screwed? Mobile casino android. Vegas baby!
![Gambling One Liners Gambling One Liners](https://miro.medium.com/max/1400/0*8vKEIHFc80n7tvCp.jpg)
What is the difference between a professional poker player and a dog? In about 10 years, the dog will quit whining.
Gambling One Liners
Banana party games. What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies? Betty!
I walked around the casino last night with a pocket full of chips. Even now I am still trying to get the smell of vinegar out of my trousers.
How do you leave Vegas with 1 millions dollars? Go there with 2 millions.
Gambling One-liners
Thanks.
Credit for the image at the top of the post goes to SXC.hu and sgman. Used under royalty free license.
Credit for the image at the top of the post goes to SXC.hu and sgman. Used under royalty free license.